woldy

These are works of fanfiction by Woldy. Almost all of them involve slash or femslash pairings, and many contain adult themes or explicit sexual content - if this is not what you're looking for or reading such material is illegal in your jurisdiction then don't proceed. If this is what you're looking for then enjoy :-). For what it's worth, I've put a * next to my personal favourites.

It should go without saying that I am not JK Rowling, but just in case: I am not JK Rowling! I do not own these characters & am making no profit from writing about them.

Fics over 1000 words

Remus/Sirius:
* Horoscopes and how they caused the Plague of Frogs R
Last Train Home PG-13
Naughty Pictures NC-17 (barely)
* Of Comets & Counter-Examples PG-13
This Act of Translation R
* Waiting For the Great Leap Forward PG-13

Harry/Draco:
Searching for Your Edges NC-17

Remus/Severus:
* The Inverse of Hormesis R
The War on Grammar PG-13

Other HP Slash:
* The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret NC-17 James/Remus/Sirius

HP Femslash:
Balls, Belles and Broomsticks PG-13 Katie/Alicia
Green Ink & Blackmail PG-13 Hermione/Rita Skeeter
Love, lies and other four letter words PG-13 Pansy/Ginny
* The Past Echoing Through Our Bloodstreams NC-17 Pansy/Ginny

Merlin Femslash:
The Line Dividing Morgana/Nimueh, PG


Fics under 1000 words

Remus/Sirius:
Biblical and Encyclopaedic PG-13
Chosen family or 'I'm looking at you, Proposition 8' PG-13
Downhill from Here PG-13 (warning - also features Sirius/James)
Friction G
Ill-ovoo G
It's Not Just Jokes & Chocolate R
* Plausible Deniability R , & its sequels Flash R, & To Obliviate or Not to Obliviate R
Seeing Other People PG-13
Triage G

Harry/Draco:
* A Big Event PG-13
* All About Camping PG-13
The Eight Potters PG-13 (warning: it shares a page with R-rated material)
Polyjuice Payback R , & its sequel Pretty in Pink R

Other HP slash
'Cos rules are made to be... NC-17 James/Regulus

Femslash:
* A Certain Space PG-13 Minerva/Augusta Longbottom
Beg Me NC-17 Ginny / anonymous female
A Bestiary of Sorts PG-13 Ginny/Luna
* Five Drabbles Where Ginny Weasley May Have Fucked Pansy Parkinson R Pansy/Ginny
Learning to Waltz, PG-13 Parvarti/Mandy
The Homoeroticism Hypothesis PG-13, Luna/Padma
The Risks of Women's Sport R, Hermione/Luna
Three Reasons, or Maybe Excuses PG-13, Parvarti/Lavender
When Witches Fly NC-17, Ginny/Cho

Title: 'Cos rules are made to be...
Pairing: James/Regulus
Rating: NC-17
Length: 100 words
Summary: For James, it's the lure of the forbidden.
Disclaimer: Not mine & not profiting.
Notes: This is for nk_aoede who asked for James/Regulus back in December - sorry that the fic is so short & took so long!

Title: The Lost Art of Keeping a Secret
Pairings: James/Sirius/Remus, James/Sirius, implied Remus/Sirius & James/Lily
Rating: NC-17
Length: ~6000 words
Summary: Love is about vulnerability, isn't it? And if the trust is broken – well, that's the risk everyone takes.
Warnings: spoilers for JKR's 800 word prequel, swearing, explicit boysex, mild domination & orgasm denial.
Disclaimer: not mine & not profiting.

Notes: Written for the hp_unfaithful fest using the prompt 'motorbike'. This fic owes a great deal to Xylodemon's wonderful stories about the Marauders, not least the concept of writing a threesome through switching POVs. I intend the imitation as the sincerest form of flattery. Many thanks to nathaniel_hp for beta-ing this fic.
The title comes from the Queens of the Stone Age song of the same name (listen via youtube). This is fic one of the longest fics I've written and it's about 80% porn *blushes*.

Title: The War on Grammar
Rating: PG-13 ish
Pairings: Snape/Lupin, implied Ron/Hermione, Albus/Grindelwald, & Harry/Draco if you squint.
Wordcount: approx 2000 words.
Summary: When a vigilante group try to impose good grammar on the magical public then Harry and Ron are called to investigate.
Warnings: Crack.
Disclaimer: All these characters belong to Jo.
Notes: I think Lynne Truss bears a lot of the responsibility for this fic. That's my story and I'm sticking to it ;-). My own grammar is far from perfect and I probably ought to know better than to stow thrones in my grass house. Many thanks to nuclearsugars for beta-ing; all remaining mistakes are of course my own. Thanks to Dubya (this is only time I'll say that!) for providing so much opportunity for mockery.


"With most wars you can say you've won when the other side are all dead or surrenders. But how is 'terrorism' going to surrender? It's well known, in philological circles, that it is very hard for abstract nouns to surrender. In fact, it's very hard for abstract nouns to do anything at all of their own volition, and hard for even trained philologists to negotiate with them." Terry Jones in Terry Jones' War on the War on Terror

The masterlist is up for Snupin Santa, so now I know that the wonderful art I received was drawn by andreanna . It is Lupin/Snape/another Snape?! (ok, one of those Snapes might be Tonks) and features the hottest Snupin snog ever, plus Snape blushing delightfully whilst wearing far too many elaborate layers of clothing. Y'all should take a look (mild NWS-ness, but the link isn't direct).

I can also come clean about my first ever Snupin fic, The Inverse of Hormesis, which I wrote for apythia and was really nervous about. As it turned out Snupin fans are incredibly generous people who said nice things about the fic even though it is rather cliche and contains no porn (which I'd assumed was near obligatory for Snupin, but what do I know) so I've been thrilled at the fic's reception. Thanks to all those who left comments and without further ado...

Title: The Inverse of Hormesis
Rating: R
Pairing(s): Remus/Severus, implied Remus/Sirius
Wordcount: approx 5700
Prompt: apythia requested our heroes taking shelter from a storm inside a bookshop. Also written for my 100_quills prompt 20 'weather'
Summary: An improbable meeting in a Muggle bookshop leads Snape and Lupin to re-evaluate one another.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters & make no profit from writing about them.
Notes: Many thanks to nathaniel_hp for beta-ing this fic; his very astute comments improved it greatly. The quote from Paracelsus is courtesy of Wikipedia. The explanation of hormesis (and idea for the title) are courtesy of New Scientist magazine, 9th August 2008.


Read the story at Snupin Santa or...


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Title: It's Not Just Jokes and Chocolate
Rating: R for innuendo
Word Count: 100
Prompt: Hogsmeade & 'envy' for 100 Quills
Summary: Remus hates Hogsmeade.
Disclaimer: Still not mine & not profiting.
Notes: I don't think this is one of my better drabbles, but c'est la vie. Apparently now is the winter of writing angsty RS fics.

Remus hates Hogsmeade.

It's not the place he finds offensive, but what it means when people are going to Hogsmeade together.

After much effort James is finally going with Lily, Peter with Julie, and Sirius had been to Hogsmeade with over a dozen girls – even, memorably, two on a single day.

Being abandoned thusly by one's friends is more than a fellow should have to put up with, Remus thinks, as he watches their labelled dots on the Marauders Map leave the castle.

Especially since Sirius goes to Hogsmeade – metaphorically that is, because he won't acknowledge it publicly – with Remus.

Title: This Act of Translation
Rating: R
Pairing(s): Remus/Sirius (with brief Remus/original female character & hints of other het pairings)
Summary: In which James devises yet another complex plan to get laid, Remus makes out with the wrong person and Sirius lays an ambush in the Prefect's bathroom.
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended. All characters engaging in sexual activity are 16 years or older.
Word Count: approx 4,500 words
Author's Notes: The request included school uniforms, first time, biting & wall!sex, so I tried to tick plenty of boxes ;-). Many, many thanks to x_merlin and nathaniel_hp  for beta-ing this fic. It's also for my 100 Quills prompt "Temptation".

Originally posted at HP Yule Balls. Read the fic at that community or...


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Apologies to the f-list for today's fic dump. And another reminder to tell me what to write next.

Title: Naughty Pictures
Written for: nk aoede
Rating: NC-17 (barely)
Prompt: "naughty fun with cameras"
Summary: Harry finds a collection of pictures in Remus' trunk, but who is the anonymous man that Remus is consorting with?
Warnings: Warning for sexually explicit content.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters & make no profit from writing about them.
Notes: Thanks to fullmoon_dreams for betaing & to nk_aoede  for the delicious prompt. I'm also using the 100 Quills prompt 'unknown'.

Originally posted at RS Small Gifts. Read the fic at that community or...

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Title: Waiting for the Great Leap Forwards
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: social class differences
Summary: Four winters in Remus' life, told backwards.
Warnings: swearing, Muggle politics.
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters & make no profit from writing about them.
Notes: Written for rose71  's prompt  "social class differences". At the end there's a slightly spoilery explanation of the historical context & slang for those unacquainted with the political history of the UK. With thanks to my betas nathaniel_hp & x_merlin , to Billy Bragg for the title (well, the song), and to trade unionists who not only brought us the weekend but have taught me a lot over the years. Er, I might have gone overboard with the prompt *looks sheepish*. Finally, this is also for my 100 Quills prompt "winter".

This was the first of two fics I wrote for this year's RS Small Gifts exchange. Read it at that community or...

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Title: Downhill from Here
Author: Woldy
Rating: PG-13 (for swearing)
Pairing: Sirius/James, Remus/Sirius, Lily/James
Prompt: 'Hollow' for 100 Quills
Wordcount: 100
Warnings: swearing, angst, spoilers for the prequel (does that even make sense as a concept?), unorthodox grammar
Disclaimer: These characters all belong to Jo.

I've been repeatedly ambushed by drabble bunnies recently. I'm in the middle of something and then wham it's thirty minutes later, I've written a drabble & work has gone by the wayside. Still, this is my first Sirius/James fic & it was fun to write. Poor Remus.


The difficulty with Sirius fucking James is that there's no good way for it to end.

Sirius has Remus, James has Lily, and they're best mates. It's all downhill from here.

At Hogwarts things between them were nearly but not quite, but now it indubitably, inescapably is. Is sexual. Nobody could attribute this to friendship.

Touching James is like being fifteen again, wild and reckless. It's no coincidence that they first fucked after fleeing Death Eaters and policemen by motorbike.

The shakily written note from Remus reads, "I'm leaving because of the lying, not the sex."

Remus never comes back.

I signed up for this a while back & it's taken me some time to get started. However, finally, here's the prompt table. I have a bunch of work to do in completing it, so watch this space for more Remus/Sirius I guess!

001.	Wind.	002.	Yellow.	003.	Strangers.	004.	Winter.	005.	Fixed.
006.	Forever.	007.	Smile.	008.	Birth.	009.	Victory.	010.	Flexible.
011.	Quirks.	012.	Unknown.	013.	Waltz.	014.	Jewel.	015.	Body.
016.	Temptation.	017.	Grave.	018.	Lust.	019.	Spoiled.	020.	Weather.
021.	Resolution.	022.	People.	023.	Envy.	024.	Absurd.	025.	Thin.
026.	Sing.	027.	Pain.	028.	Asleep.	029.	Disease.	030.	Try.
031.	Hollow.	032.	Dream.	033.	Midnight.	034.	Peace.	035.	Mask.
036.	Sojourn.	037.	Whisper.	038.	Hurricane.	039.	Comfort.	040.	Rain.
041.	Heart.	042.	Life.	043.	Footsteps.	044.	Silhouette.	045.	Name.
046.	Dinner.	047.	Teammate.	048.	Days.	049.	Earth.	050.	Plain.

Title: Chosen family or 'I'm looking at you, Proposition 8'
Author: Woldy
Rating: PG (for swearing) 
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Prompt: family (& 'smile' for 100 quills)
Word count: 100


The problem wasn't that Sirius lacked a family, the problem was they were poisonous bastards who thought blood and money were all that mattered.

Fuck them. Nuclear families were bullshit. The only family that mattered were the ones you chose yourself – friends, lovers, carers if you were caught by a bad curse.

Sirius wished he were excited for James and Lily, but in truth he figured any institution that excluded gays was not an institution worth preserving.

"Ready, Pads? Got the ring?"

Sirius glanced at Moony who was smiling, spectacularly handsome in tails.

"Yeah," he said, stifling resentment. "Let's go."

Title: Horoscopes and how they caused the Plague of Frogs 
Author: Woldy 
Rating: R 
Summary: This is the story of the most improbable job Remus ever had, the Chocolate Frog Plague of 1980 and, incidentally, how he first kissed Sirius.
Warnings: Absurdity and explicit boysex
Disclaimer: Not mine & not profiting
Notes: Written for the second round of the R/S Games, in the humour & romance genres. The prompt was "Gemini (May 21 -- June 21) - It's time to act against your natural character and inclination. You need to display all the qualities you don't believe you have. With the right changes, you'll attract the luck you need when it means the most."
Credits: Many thanks to Team Post-Hogwarts, to the R/S Games mods & to MaraudersAffair for beta-ing. This fic was inspired by the wonderful (alas now retired) astrologer Psychic Psmith.

Read the story via R/S Games or...

My assignment for the HP Crackship exchange, cross-posted from that community.

There haven't been many fics posted here of late, which is partly because I've been working on 2 fics for the Remus/Sirius Games , which has been great fun. Since the reveals for Round 1 are now up, I can provide the details of my entry: